I Would Pee On Them Too.

Four marines peed on the bodies of three dead Taliban soldiers.

Naturally this threw the world into an uproar.

It wasn't because the Taliban likes to send us movies of our captured soldiers having their heads sawed off slowly. It wasn't because after being bailed out of the crater left by the recession we are right back where we started. It wasn't because someone hit my car with their stupid remedial inbred door.

It was because four Marines peed on the dead bodies of three members of a militia who want nothing more than to destroy anyone with white skin who eats pork.

And while that is a generalization the likes of which you have never seen, it's not even the point.

What I am saying is who the hell are you to judge what they did? Who are you in your Mercedes Benz and your size 56 pants stuffing chocolate cupcakes into your fat fucking face while these guys are purposely stranded in a hostile environment where not even the camels want to be friends and every time they blink they lose someone they called a friend to some uneducated half wit religious freak who doesn't know enough about anything to realize that he is in fact the bad guy to EVERYONE in the world but his little circle of pathetic heathen two tooth having cave dwellers?

And what about the code of ethics that is taught to all of our service men and women? What about the guy next to you RIGHT NOW who picks his nose and wipes it on his shirt while watching Star Trek reruns until 3 in the morning. What about the lady across the room who has fucked so many guys she is giving serious thought to going on one of those talk shows where she just rolls a big ass wheel and whoever it lands on gets to be the "baby daddy?" Somewhere in Vegas right now there is a guy peeing on another guy who is masturbating while watching a lizard eat three grapes out of a WD-40 can top. What about that guy? With an active roster of more than 3.1 million members I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that not every one of our enlisted soldiers is a chivalric knight just waiting for his or her chance to save a damsel in distress.

As for what would posses a human being to do something like that, I suppose there are a number of explanations. Maybe they were bored because all of their friends were systematically killed by the very people they are now peeing on. Maybe that's why they said fuck it and whipped out the junior Marine squadron. Maybe they had loved ones in New York on 9/11. Maybe they watched those men plant explosives on a young child only to send them into a crowded market. And then maybe they are just some good ol boy hillbilly card carrying members of the NRA from West Virginia who joined the Marines for no reason other than to pee on some A-rabs. Any one of those work I'm sure.

So the story hits the media and of course talk radio blows it up because what the fuck else do they really have to talk about aside from Romney and how much Obama has raised in campaign funds. Caller after caller expresses how peeing on someone is wrong and those Marines need to punished. Thank FUCKING God we have these ethical experts on hand to clear up that moral quandary for me. I had to call a few friends to find out if I should be peeing on people or not. And you want to punish the Marines? Sure. No problem. YOU GO TAKE THEIR PLACE IN THE DESERT WITH AKBAR TAKING POT SHOTS AT YOUR FACE WITH A GUN YOU PROBABLY SOLD HIM 30 YEARS AGO WHILE THEY SIT IN JAIL ESSENTIALLY DOING WHAT WE ALL WOULD HAVE DONE ASSHOLE.

I do not condone peeing on another human being. I am not saying they had every right to so. I AM saying that if someone was trying to kill me and I got them first... I may pee on them too. Hell I would probably pee on a guy for cutting me off in traffic. Whatever the reason they had, it happened and we need to move on. Instead we have these big wig politicians roaring and bellowing into the American public demanding justice. How about you focus on not banging little boys from Thailand and then we can talk about whether or not you are qualified to judge these four young men who are fighting your war for you.