What seems like an eternity ago I threw my middle finger in the air and walked away. I stepped out of the drama, the bad relationships, the rumors, the parasitic friendships, the self destructive weekends... and I grew up.
And then seven years later I came back.
For all of my eloquence and illustrious talent I cannot describe the wash of familiarity that has come over me. It is as though I can see the past setting with the sun just off the horizon, and across the way I see these people shuffling towards the future with only a few still looking back.. We all grew up I suppose. But it is that seven year gap that places a different perspective in my hands. We had children, got married, bought houses, got divorced, started careers, moved to different cities and countries... and we lost some a long the way. Despite all of this some haven't changed a bit, and to each his or her own. But for what it's worth I am deeply appreciative of the reforged bonds I have been able to so quickly create with Bunthy, Lizz, Amber, Bruce, Procoppio, Heap, Mai, Junior, Alfredo and countless others.
I made new bonds since I left. Stronger, more strengthening bonds that I do not dare discount. When I was down it was they who held me up and pushed me forward. I am blessed by whatever Gods above you choose to believe in by the people around me now and the idea of combining the old and the new simply makes me smile. There is no greater feeling than knowing someone cares enough to make you smile when you cannot help but frown. By no means do I consider myself a figure head in any respect, but I cannot help but to think that I am somewhere in here a good person to have so many genuine people around me.
I do not think I can ever forget the past. I will always hold on to the darkness that I know because I know that I do not have to move on to let go. (Thanks Kaskade haha!) Maybe it is that darkness we all shared that makes me feel so at home now sitting next to you at Bluewater, behind a bottle or in the garage. In any case I am happy to be back and while I do not allow myself the illusion that everything will be as I planned it, I am happy just knowing that for this briefest of moments time will allow us to stand still just this once while we catch our breaths and move forward together instead of apart.
Welcome back my friends. It's been a long time. Raise your chin and raise your glass.
Cheers,
- Mohammed Kaleemuden "Muden" Siddiqui
