Love Defined.

We look back on the paths we have crossed and the enemies we have made. We look back on the ones who broke our hearts and the hearts we ourselves left stranded in the rain. We remember the pain and the inherit insanity. And while we remember I ask:

What if I said everyone deserves to feel love? What if I said everyone deserves to feel the warmth of a caring smile... and the wash of utter desperation that comes with loss?

I do not, for a second, believe that we get to choose who, or how, or why or even when. I do not believe that you can set down a time when you are ready for love. There is a certain familiarity that two people can instantly feel with each other. An absolute bond, as if they have known each other since the dawn of time immortal. The only real choice we have in the matter is whether or not we choose to acknowledge that defining moment when a shared smile is the eclipse of our eyes and in that fleeting moment we know, without a doubt, that we are content standing still in time. If only to share in the profound resonance of that eclipse. Whether it be an afternoon together or a night in front of the television. And even if it was only for a night, we shared in that eclipse. And it was the best night of our lives.

I believe that love is born of our most simple of human needs to find a kindred. A hand to hold. A soul to confide in. Someone to share with during the pains of climbing from our own wreckage and the joys of living above the world we have created.

There is nothing, in my belief, that can ever be done to halt the burgeoning tides of affection. The soft wash in that single moment of dawning comprehension when we realize, all too suddenly, that we are completely exposed to this other person and while we are afraid more so than we ever thought possible... there is a certain comfort in knowing that this person accepts you for who your walls are meant to conceal.

This is the definition of love, no? Being emotionally present while someone exposes their soul to you, and feeling connected to them for it. Because it is in this moment, that brief half hour of truth, that we are as the first morning dew of a fresh winter. Fragile and quivering in the cold. I suspect it is during this time that we truly know whether or not we are connected to this person. Because even in its most convincing of forms, lust cannot be mistaken for love when he or she stands before you cold and naked.

Had I taken a moment to step back and feel with my heart instead of my head, would I have spent the years I did with past lovers?

Absolutely not.

So I say again. Everyone deserves to feel the warmth of a caring smile... and the wash of utter desperation that comes with loss.

- Muden Siddiqui